Authored by Justin Yuen on Jan 20th 2011, 02:35
Friday morning, I stood up to have my weight taken. My vision blackened. My sense of balance faltered. Could I just be exhausted, having spent the majority of the day prior practicing the guitar? Perhaps my red blood cell count had dropped due to my last round of chemotherapy. My blood pressure indicated a different problem. An EKG and ultrasound later, it was determined that fluid had built up in my pericardium, the sac containing the heart, impairing my heart function. Interventional Radiology drained nearly a liter of fluid from around my heart, left a chest drainage tube, and sent me to the ICU to be monitored. While there, some late effects of the last round of chemotherapy arose; my appetite, hair and energy all left me at once.
I have observed that when I am feeling energetic and well, I spend the majority of my energy getting work done and enjoying myself. This activity-focused behavior leads to an accumulation of experience and knowledge, but not understanding. In contrast, during times of sickness, while I have little energy, I tend to use every bit of it in contemplation, taking nothing for granted. It has been during these times in which I have gained the most wisdom in life. As I find myself on the way to recovery once again, I question, once I have fully recovered from my sickness and find myself with ample energy, how and whether I will remember to take nothing for granted.
It's really good of you to gain wisdom. once again happy new year! Keep warm and have faith in God. I heard all the hopsital staffs are really nice and caring which are very encouraging.Yes, I agreed to take nothing it for granted. But all along GOD will take good care of you.
Justin-How wise and brave of you to take your ups and downs so philosophically. The journey to recovery will continue to have bumps. But medical science and your expert doctors will win the day, with love and help from your Mother, Father, friends and supporters. And of course the blessings of God. Love, A Ellie
yay you're back! BBzzzz **passing some energy your way**
Justin, thank you so much for sharing your words of wisdom and philosophy of life. The journey to healing may be tough and may test your faith. However, with God's love and grace and the unfailing support and unconditional love of your parents plus the expertise and care of your doctors and nurses, you are on the road to recovery. We sometimes take things for granted but are thankful that we are always reminded in one way or another to appreciate life and be thankful of every chapter, good or challenging, in life. Your Dad told me that you pray every night for God's miraculous healing. Continue your dialogue with God everyday and He will hear our prayers. We are always praying for you and we are always with you in spirit.Love, Gu Ma Betty
Dear Justin, you most certaining are fighting an extremely hard battle and yet you remain so positive! I admire your courage and am sure that your parents and all the people around you are very pround of you.Yes, I totally agree with you that it is necessary to find time for contemplation in our daily life. Last Saturday I read something from "The New Daylight" which worth pondering and I would like to share with you...." It is always easier to go somewhere and do something than to turn inwards and discover the reality of God within our own hearts. We can all substitute various kinds of activism for the reality of knowing God in a deep and personal way, but only when we truly seek God will we truly live." (taken from 15.01.2011 The New Daylight "the divine remedy")Thinking of you and praying for you alwaysMuch love, Auntie Fei
From 2 Corinthians 12:9 "but He said to me " My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses , so that Christ's power may rest on me". And this is from part of a sermon on this text:"God uses suffering to display His grace...God uses suffering to display His grace. Now we're in to verse 9. "And He has said to me, My grace is sufficient for you." "He has said," by the way, is in the perfect tense which means it was a set answer. He went three times and three times he got the same answer. "Paul, I hear you, I know you're asking for the thorn to be removed. I know you're asking for the messenger of Satan to be removed. I understand all of that. I'm sorry, however, I'm not going to do that, I'm just going to turn up the grace." Standing answer. God answers not by removing the pain, because the pain was productive...not by removing the trouble because the trouble was productive. It really showed the true man and it humbled him and it drew him to God. And so God says I'm not going to remove that, the process isn't over, but what I am going to do is increase the grace so that you can endure it.He gave relief. God gave relief not by removal but by sufficient strength to persevere through the necessary humbling process. In those times is when God pours out the greater grace. In those times sometimes you find yourself with an exhilarating joy. I can't...I can't say it any better than to say it in the way that it's in Acts 16 where Paul is in stocks and his arms are stretched and his legs are stretched and the muscles are taut and locked in these stocks, and he's kept there in excruciating agony. And Paul and Silas are in that condition and you go into the jail and you hear them doing what? Singing...singing. Why are they singing? Because they have been given sufficient grace to endure it...sufficient grace. And you're never going to know that grace if you don't have the exigencies that call for it. You're never going to know that grace and you're never going to know the joy of that grace and the exhilaration of that grace until you have to have that grace.Sure, from a human standpoint Paul says...Get that stake out of my flesh, get that agony out of my heart. It's depressing me and it's crushing me and it's breaking me. And God says...I'm not going to get it out of there, I'm going to leave it there, I'm just going to crank up the grace and in the midst of the grace you're going to give Me glory and you're going to endure and people are going to see the greatness of your God and the strength of your faith."It's not exactly easy though, Justin, and my heart goes out to you and your mother as you both endure this suffering. We continue to pray for it to come to an end.With love, Ellen
Hi Justin, your auntie Tessa gave me a book mark many years ago, on it was this quote:-Poem of the Day: I Walked a Mile with Pleasure04/17/2007 by Nina Alvarez I walked a mile with Pleasure;She chatted all the way;But left me none the wiserFor all she had to say.I walked a mile with Sorrow,And ne’er a word said she;But, oh! The things I learned from her,When sorrow walked with me.-Robert Browning HamiltonPraying that your health is improving day by day.Much love, auntie Fei
Hi Justin,Hope you're feeling better and stronger each day. Thinking of you everyday and sending good wishes and positive energy your way. Laura
Dearest Justin, Just got a message from your Dad that you look wonderful and have been released from MSK. Praise the Lord. We continue praying for your recovery. I wish to share a song which we sang at the revival service at church last Saturday."The Path of GraceLord, you are my guide, the shepherd of my life.Through hills and valleys, you're always by my side calling me by name.You have chosen me with love, blessing me abunduntly. Your promise will never change. Every step you take, you lead us with your grace, your love, your hand. Will hold us close to you and will guide us through the path of grace."Justin, God will embrace you always with His love and grace. We love you and miss you. May God bless you with full recovery.Gu Ma Betty
Justin-I am so glad to see from yourGu Ma Betty's message that you are much much better. Please however do NOT over-tax yourself. Take thiings slowly and be patient. Our thoughts and prayers are with you constantly. Love, A Ellie
Hey Just-JustAfter a month of crazy traveling, my work is finally starting to slow down a little. Trying to finish all tasks assigned to me before Chinese new year. Gu Ma, Uncle Moses, Edlyn and I are going to Tokyo and Hakone for a short break. Mom said you were there with uncle Ron previously. Wished you could be here with us. We miss you so much. We pray every day that you will recover steadily and soon we will be able to travel together again to see the world. Enjoy your time with uncle Ron and hopefully I can come and visit you soon too. Love u loadsV
Justin, I hope your energy is back at this point. I'm glad you are home...I miss you! But happy for you and your family. Life is beautiful! Enjoy.