Authored by Justin Yuen on Oct 22nd 2010, 21:05
My oncologist, who has been doing an amazing job taking care of me - both physically and mentally - along with all the people at Hartford Hospital, sensed that I needed a break from hospital life I've been living for the past two months to mentally recharge; he suggested that I leave the hospital for a week before continuing with my next round of chemotherapy. My first reaction was "Oh my god, leave the hospital?" as I considered the IV line running from the PICC line in my left arm. What would I do without a nurse call button at all times? What if something happens?
Living in a hospital is a unique experience comparable to living in college in that it is its own self-contained world with all the necessities required to live. The only difference is that you have very little freedom, and very little of what you experience would qualify as enjoyable. Life-changing? Without a doubt. Life-saving? Definitely. But enjoyable... eh... So, once I got over the idea of being disconnected from instant care, I made the mental jump to resolve on going ahead with my doctor's plan of giving me a break. Luckily, everything necessary for my discharge went smoothly and efficiently, and I was able to leave the hospital this afternoon.
And what a day it was to get out. The air was cold and crisp - a little too much so for my current body which is devoid of the slightest amount of meat - but the sky was a shade of blue that you just don't see in Hong Kong. Ever - spotted with light fluffy cumulus clouds which illuminated into the purest radiant white when touched by sunlight. On the ground, the most beautiful example of a New England fall: Shades of red, green, orange, yellow, purple, and every color between speckling the surroundings. Needless to say, the car ride back was quite different for me from the mundane car rides back from school I had experienced back in school. Ah, the things we take for granted when we're young :)
I'm now sitting in my childhood home in Connecticut, where I was born and raised, now doing my best to make up for both the 30 pounds and the morale I've lost (been through a lot, you know?). The idea of now having instant help available (not exactly true, since my Mom is still sticking by my side 24/7 as she has from the beginning, and a bunch of family and friends have all been here to support me when my Mom needed a helping hand. In any case, the concept of not having immediately available medical care is as liberating as it is scary. This probably sounds uncharacteristically spiritual of me, but I literally feel the life flowing back into my soul. It's been an emotional day with a good amount of tears, but overall, I feel 200% better already.
The key to making the most of this one week break is to take baby steps toward recovering in just about every possible way. Today, I did a decent amount of pounding-heart-inducing walking, and have made a successful effort to stay awake and sitting upright for most of the day. Need to master sitting up before standing up, right? Each day, I hope to exercise a little more, eat a little more, think a little more, talk a little more, smile a little more. I'm off to a very good start!
What a touching and inspirational message, Justin. Believe in miracle and merciful healing of our Almighty God? He is good to you and will heal your illness. Have faith. Have a good week at home and be recharged with energy and strength physically and spiritually. Remember to eat well, exercise slowly and smile always. Though we can't be with you physically, we are always with you in prayer. May God bless you always. Please give our best to your Mom.With love,Gu Ma Betty & Uncle Moses
Excellent to hear of your discharge. While I'm in hospitals far too often, it is enlightening to see you make it through a fairly rocky course there none the worse. I am glad you can appreciate the beautiful New England fall today - I remember how nice they were.Go hit some buffets or nice restaurants to put some meat on your bones. Max's I recall was quite good!
Hi, son: Great attitude and spirit! When mom told me about Dr Menon's idea, my initial apprehension was exactly like yours, but eventually I thought it was a brilliant idea! You were getting too dependent on the hospital system (as well as the TV channels) and a little "lazy".I told you about my dream and I am very positive that God's 0healing and your positive energy will make your tumor go away. Have faith and we will fight with you together.LoveDad
Justin, You have gone through so much only in these past several weeks with unexpected happenings every single day. In dealing with everything that has been put in front of you, you've been so brave.Today, the New England sky gave you an invitation just for you to step outside :) It reserved this especially beautiful fall day for you!!
the second getting ur foot out the hospital door was wonderful, wasn't it? looking at the sky, smelling the air or strolling thru the streets feel 10x better ^^ Having a positive and cheerful spirit is crucial; i didn't think much when i'm sick, rather deal with it rationally & make those around me staying positive ;) i often joke with the medical staff or even laugh at them; once laughed at a frightened trainee nurse who made my blood shooting out from the IV connector XD then teased them "r u gals trying to perform alien tests on me & cover it up by changing all beddings?". Other time, i asked a nurse to kiss me when i was asked "r u nervous?"XD try thinking & seeing things positively & don't forget to "smile :)"
Fantastic news - you're out!!!! Treasure the moments even though it's only for a week or so.... Have some fun at home and looking forward to read your posts to see what you'll get up to.... Take care....Laura
You must remember some of the challenges on the show and replicate some of the recipes to feed yourself "fat".
Justin-My initial reaction to your news was like your Dad's; and also how your Mom will cope without professionals nearby. BUT I believe the doctor was right and that a break from the hospital equals some effective medication. And also allows your Mom to sleep/rest in her own bed for longer periods. Your weakened state has certainly not affected your literary style - I am serious about your becoming a writer (when you get tired of computers and computing). Lots of love, A Ellie
Hey Just-Just...So happy to hear of your vacation! I need one too. :)So if you need some company, just let me know and I will be on the next plane to you... Get well soon so we can go check out new Japanese restaurants in Hong Kong... I promise I won't feed you uni... :) Enjoy your break, check out old photos at home and relive the childhood memories... Stay positive... your prayer troop around the world continues to pray for you and supporting you from afar...Love you loadsV
Yabadabadoooo! Savour the freedom. Enjoy rediscovering the world as everything hits your senses with heightened intensity. Give your mom a hug from me. Love, Ellen
Hey Justin,Glad to hear you're getting out and about! Being in the hospital definitely offers a rare opportunity for people to reflect about themselves and re-prioritize their values to what's really important in life. I think everyone should have to go through similar experiences so they can become better people.While I'm not the most religious person myself, I have been praying for your health whenever I can, so do remember that you have support on the other side of the world. Hope you enjoy the beautiful autumn foliage of Connecticut!Take care,Brian
Hi Justin, thank you for the GREAT NEWS. It came much sooner that I had been praying for you. Alleluia! :-)I hope you and your Mum will have a peaceful, joyful and relaxing week together enjoying chatting about your dreams....Love and big big hugs to you both.
It's nice to hear you have a nice break! Keep warm, keep smiling and eat more to regain weight. Take care! We will always pray for you.
sticking by with you like super glue